Category Archives: Horoscopes

The monthly BLARB horoscopes are brought to you by The Voluptuous Witch, a feminist astrologer specializing in love, sex, and money magic. They are illustrated by Stephanie Sun.

From October 2016–May 2017, the monthly BLARB horoscopes were written by Ichrak Dahou and illustrated by Abby Litman.

June Horoscopes

By The Voluptuous Witch

We emerge from a catalyzing, dynamic, and intermittently unstable few months into the more elementally balanced astrology of June, pulling us more gently but in numerous directions. With Mercury and Venus now out of retrograde and shadow, our plans are able to come to fruition. June begins with a gorgeous connection between the Sun and Jupiter that will undoubtedly bring luck, fun, and opportunity our way. The events of the first week of June could even have a fated-feeling quality, witnessing major evolution in any visionary planning and work we did during May, as well as major developments or resolutions in love, connection, or money which will be bursting open just a few days into the month as well. Mid-month brings some mental challenges and tense communication, but the end of the month leaves us with a dreamy, healing, and creative vibe. The last few days of June have outstanding creative and artistic potential as Neptune connects with both Mars and Mercury, so set aside time to write, film or photograph, and be sure to pay attention to the messages you receive in the dreamtime. Continue reading

May Horoscopes

By Ichrak Dahou

May is a fiery and fast-paced month that eases us into the quickness and progress of June. The Sun traveling through the stars of Taurus politely requests that we savor each moment. This is a good month to think about and integrate the many pauses and inquiries generated by April’s many retrogrades. Mars vivifying lingual Gemini inspires curiosity, connection, and conversation. When seeking to dream up plans or solidify moves that bring luck or expansion, be sure that all the details are in fact what they are perceived to be. This month Venus wraps up her retrograde journey in earnest and with a bang. It is a good month to slowly integrate the important growth and subtle transformation we have experienced since late March. Continue reading

April Horoscopes

By Ichrak Dahou

April is a month of mixed progress. While new beginnings, proper to the Spring season, arrive with enthusiasm and spirit, the retrograde movement of key planets this month will delay robust and firm establishment. Therefore, be sure to give your situations additional thought, care, and consideration. This is more an extended season of seeding than getting brand new ventures off the ground. Continue reading

March Horoscopes

By Ichrak Dahou

This month begins with a vibrant and electric energy that could bring about a quick development, an avalanche of events, or an unexpected stroke of luck that offers a chance to break free. This is a free-wheeling energy that does ask for conscious engagement rather than flow with previous or existing status quo. It is a chance to create something new, and to give the consciousness upgrade that is occurring an outlet through which to express itself!  Continue reading

February Horoscopes

By Ichrak Dahou

February is an eclipse month. During eclipse months, time seems to lose its sense of linearity — it speeds up, and a lot more seems to happen within the space of a calendar month than seems typical or possible. Warrior energy winds through the month. Find ways to appease your inner pioneer, rebellious shit-stirrer, combative lone warrior. It is better to direct these archetypes than to have them direct you! Continue reading

January Horoscopes

By Ichrak Dahou

The Sun travels through Capricorn for much of this month, and the Sun’s light will bring the earthly energy of Capricorn into our consciousness. Many planets are in Pisces for much of the month, which means psychic fields are more porous than usual. Take care to keep both your physical and emotional spaces energetically clear. Be deliberate about creating and entertaining positive thoughts, and about seeking solutions that are aligned with your personal values. Focus on things that are immediately applicable in your world, rather than giving in to feelings of helplessness about what is happening in the world at large. Continue reading

December Horoscopes

By Ichrak Dahou

December brings a different quality of high octane energy than November did. The planets are reflecting excitement, nervous tension, and impatience with the status quo. Responding quickly to these impulses will be tempting, and easy to do. But a concurrent influence of caution, deliberateness, and strategy will allow us to rein in our compulsions.  Radical change is called for, but we must proceed with caution and consideration for what needs to be preserved. Continue reading

November Horoscopes

By Ichrak Dahou

There are months that are about chatter and engagement, months about diligence and purity, months about social exchange and the intricacies of a just society, and then there are the months that grab you by the gut and ask you to say without words what you’re really about. That’s part of the reason why Scorpio season is associated with therapy. Therapy, ideally, is a safe space where dropping boundaries and presenting the most raw and honest version of yourself finds a ready container. It is a place to process and heal, to change what used to be a crippling vulnerability into a formidable storehouse of strength. But there is a lot that happens in the middle of those spaces, and there is no skipping over that difficult, tumultuous part. That middle is what Scorpio is about. Continue reading