Category Archives: Asking For a Friend

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By Olga Kreimer.
Header art by Abby Litman.

Asking for a Friend: Being Solid Without Being Stuck

Dear Olive,

I have been the “solid” one my whole life, the person who takes care of everyone, an amazing friend, sibling, daughter, and partner. It’s just who I am. But it can be exhausting, and means that I often don’t leave space for myself. My husband and I recently (amicably) separated, and I am working on taking this time to prioritize ME, for once. But this means I’m not totally there for my friends and family, and it feels like I’m losing my identity. Who am I if not the caregiver? Can I continue to take care of everyone, and still take care of myself? Continue reading

Asking for a Friend: How Do I Say “I Don’t Love You”?

Dear Olive,

One of my oldest friends is in love with me, and I’m not in love with him. In fact, he drives me crazy. The more I pull away, the more he reaches out. I think I’ve been quite clear, without being explicit, about how I feel. I don’t want to hurt his feelings by saying the truth, which is that he overwhelms me and frustrates me. I wish he would just read the signals. How do I end this without hurting him, and still honoring our years of friendship?  Continue reading

Asking for a Friend: I Can’t Look Away from the News Feed

Dear Olive, 

I have become obsessed with the news. I was addicted to the scroll before, but with this new administration, my addiction has been taken to a whole new level. With my eyes glued to the screen (screens), it is hard to be present in reality. I can no longer think about anything other than what new fresh evil is about to take place. How do I find balance? Social media felt unhealthy even in the best of times, but now I feel lost without it. Any advice? Continue reading

Asking for a Friend: I’m Getting Better. Now How Do I Get Going?

Dear Olive,

I’ve spent the better part of the past three years in a deep clinical depression from which there seemed no escape. I am finally starting to feel like maybe existence on this big imperfect rock hurtling through space might be worth it once again — but I’ve found that I am emerging from my depressed years as quite a different person. The things I once liked no longer seem all that exciting to me, while other things are suddenly taking my interest. I feel so lost and unable to start on a new journey while on such uncertain ground. How do I start living again? Continue reading